We had a lovely time but I really thought it was much better last year than this year. Now for Thanksgiving. This year was a little more special since Tosh was able to come with us to my Dad's side of the family. Here are some pictures:
My mom got some better ones but I don't have them on this computer. I'll try to post them later. We do things sort of simple at my Grandad's house.
Now onto Birthdays! My birthday was Friday the 28th and it was a great one! I got up at 4:30am and went shopping for Christmas presents until around 2:00. Once I got back home, I helped Mom cook since we were doing our own "Thanksgiving/Birthday" dinner that night. Tosh's dad and brother Matt came down and we enjoyed eating and spending time together. And both my brothers showed up a bit later too! My sister bought me this beautiful square cabin/rustic plate and matching dipping bowl from Kohl's. She had the most beautiful card that went with it too. It made me want to cry. I"ll try to post pictures later from the birthday. Mom is the only one that took pictures so I don't have any on here of those either.
Tosh bought me the three book set of Eragon, Eldest, and Brisingr. Too bad I didn't know it was going to have a fourth book or I'd have waited until it came out and bought the set then! Oh well. :-) He also made me a homemade card, which I loved! Coy and Matt (Tosh's dad and brother) gave me some birthday money to use how I want. My mom made me a homemade double dark chocolate fudge cake with homemade chocolate icing! YUM! It was super rich and went perfect with whole milk!
Now for the unexpected part. My mom and I decided to make a quick trip to do some shopping at Hallmark and Wal-mart last night to pick up a couple of things. The Hallmark was great! It had TONS of new stuff that I'd never seen before and I will definitely go back to it again. After we got out of Wal-Mart we ordered a pizza and went to pick it up. Then we got a phone call from my Dad telling us we needed to come home. . . my uncle had passed away sometime yesterday from a heart attack and his daughter had just found him. Needless to say it's been a whirlwind of emotions. Dad had got a call and couldn't understand what was being said because they were screaming. All he could make out was "He's dead - he's dead!" and then the phone cut off. My uncle lives right down the road from us and Dad went outside and could hear my cousin (his daughter) screaming and crying in the yard.
This was my Mom's brother. Her only brother. She has 5 sisters and this 1 brother. For some reason, I thought my Mom's siblings would never die. I mean, realistically I guess if I'd thought about it, I knew they would. But they've always been around and I just never thought about them passing on some day. He would've been 64 next week. He was a Christian and I wish I had known him better. He loved me very much I know and he would always give me a big hug when I came home and saw him at church.
So I've been thinking a lot about life in general and God and how small I am and how big He is. I've been reading all this stuff about how you should be so careful with your emotional state while pregnant and how it could affect the baby (low birth weight, premature, etc.)... and you know what I think? It's so ridiculous. Life has seemed like such a roller coaster the last 6 months. Up and down and up and down. Slovakia, pregnancy, moving, adjusting, new job, moving in with my parents, making ends meet, my body changing and hormones surging, birthdays, thanksgiving, and now a death -- a death that was very unexpected.
I was talking to Tosh last night and telling him how life suddenly seems so crazy and it never felt this way in Lexington. It felt like we at least were on solid footing in Lexington and nothing was too drastic one way or the other. We had an even keel going and things were "normal" and "steady". And Tosh said no. He said it was crazy in Lexington. It was -- and this is just Life and part of living here on earth. Things happened in Lexington and we handled it then. Sometimes it seems more intense but I think it's because of all these crazy hormones raging through my body. Things seem multiple times as emotional than they "normally" would.
And through all this, I felt like God gave me some great epiphany. How in the world do you keep all your emotions "in-check" when Life is this crazy going on around you? How do you keep yourself from getting over-emotional or stressing out with the things life throws at you? I keep wondering what I'm "doing" to this baby because of my emotional state. And I've determined that I can't worry about that anymore. How can I? This baby is in God's hands and He knows exactly what He's doing in our life right now. I have to trust Him that He has control of my body and this baby and He will take care of us through it all.
I'm not certain any of that made sense, but I am trying to explain how silly it is to think that I have control over what happens around me. That I am the "master" of my life and I can keep things in-check. I felt very small and stupid when I realized this. And yet I also realized that God was trying to show me, "Hello! I'm the One in Charge here! I have control over everything in the universe." And He loves me and cares about me and this baby.
Please pray for my Mom and her sisters. Thanks.
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